Shut Up and Listen, God is Dynamic

My family came to visit me here in Dallas, to sort of make up for not being together for the holidays (okay, so they just wanted their Xmas presents!) and so I got to take them to my church...

I go to Oak Lawn United Methodist

it's a beautiful church... and the building's not bad looking either!

This was pretty important because since going to uni and detaching from my family a bit developing my faith, and the process of finding a church, getting myself to it, joining the congregation and actually becoming a member, all apart from them (keeping in mind my dad has been my "pastor" all my life; he's currently Methodist chaplain) has been very very important... and so to physically allow them back into that part of my life... it was important.

Anyway, today the scripture and sermon were all about listening to God. Talking about Samuel...
though it occurs to me that some of the friends I've invited to read this blog might not know this story! So in a nutshell, Samuel was this boy who was given to the temple by his mother, and one night he hears a voice calling his name, thinks it's the old priest Eli calling for him, goes into his room and says "what do you want?" Eli tells him it wasn't him, go back to bed... this happens three times before Eli tells him "next time you hear the voice say 'here I am Lord, your servant is listening'" and it turns out God has been calling him all along... (For the record, this story comes from the Old Testament, the first book of Samuel, if you can believe it! Chapter 3...)

Back in April AJ was still here in Dallas working at a church in Plano. I once asked him if I could come see where he worked, see him in action so to speak, and he very graciously said if I could get myself out of bed that early and didn't mind being left to myself for awhile I was welcome to tag along. It was quite a privilege, but the reason I tell you about that is because it was on this morning, during a lonely moment, my brain was buzzing with all too many thoughts and I didn't know what to do with myself, when quite suddenly a voice seemed to say "just SHUT UP and LISTEN".

I went to my seat, did my very best to quiet my thoughts, and just listened for once. To the sermon, to the prayers, to the song, to the music.

What did I hear? I heard what was there to be heard. I don't really know how to describe it. But I think that was one of the most important things I've had to learn in the last year. I'm one of those people who always seems to have something to say, and if I'm not talking it's probably because I'm thinking too fast for my mouth to catch up. I don't know HOW to write short notes or posts or letters! So learning how to say "I am your servant, I'm listening" and then shut up and hear God's call... it's not easy for me.

But hey, X% of learning is finding out what you don't know!

The second half of today's thoughts has to do with change. I was actually reading the blog of my favourite recording artist, Jason Mraz, who on 2 October 2008 writes about how it's okay to change your mind. "You will be safe behind your honest decisions and mood swings." (I highly encourage you to track it down and read it for yourself, I really do.) This lead to the revelation... "God is not Static".

Why are we so afraid of Change? Why do we NEED security so much? A solid ground, a firm foundation, a sure future? In this day especially, nothing is sure. My generation is not going to get social security. Wah wah for us. We'll survive; or we won't, but that's no great tragedy. The world changes. America will have a black (coloured? lol) president in two days. Hurrah! Maybe God told me some things years ago to make me feel comfortable because at the time he needed me to feel that way. Now He wants me on my toes. He's going to change the answer he gave the child version of me because he's got a different purpose for the adult, or maybe I made some choice with the wonderful gift of Free Will that threw off his other plans so he's altering his mighty Purpose for my life and that involves still more transformation...

I think I just need to Shut Up and Listen again!

A Thought on Rebound

I'm working hard to fill in the gaps that still exist in this blog, and hope to have it all done by Monday. But I just had a thought, not about the past month, but about the future.

One thing I did while I was here, somewhat unconsciously at first, but with a growing sense of purpose, was to act as a bridge. The concept first really cemented itself when I interviewed Pastor Ohm in my attempt to connect the fund-raising efforts of Mocha Club with its actual application in Cape Town. The idea then extended itself to the rest of my visit, as I realized I was doing the same thing on a more intimate basis, connecting the people I met with other people from where I was coming from. I will then come home and tell stories the other way around.

I just found an article on my school's website about how just this week on January 12 we had more than 65 foreign diplomats, traveling with the U.S. State Department's "Experience America" project visit SMU and the Meadows Museum of Art. The reason for this, apparently, was that diplomats have commented that though they work between countries and represent foreign presence in America, many of them have only seen DC, New York, and various capitols relevant to their work.

This made me think... wow! Diplomats who haven't even really experienced the culture of the country they're visiting! How is that even possible? Now I wonder if these people, many of whom have doubtless been brought up to be what they are, trained for many years, do they even have a sense of the real people of their own countries? (Especially now they've been in America for however long?)

It's clear to me that the world is in serious need of bridges. Bridges have to have solid foundations of either side of the divide they cross.

I don't know where that little revelation will take me, but it sure feels important!

Sound Off! Inventory of Souveniers, and a queery for you

Wow, I've just realized what a veritable treasure trove of awesome gifts and souvenirs I"m bringing back! Some of it's for me, much of it is for others. Let's just see here...

1 750ml bottle of Pearly Bay sweet Rose wine
1 200g/80pc sealed box of Freshpak Rooibos teabags
8... *munch* 7 Crunchie bars (probably will go in carry-on luggage)
1 200ml bottle of Ina Paarman's Potato Spice
1 5cl collectable bottle of sherry in the shape of Table Mountain
2 20g packets of Brewer's yeast
3 packets of Bird of Paradise seed
1 vial of plant extract
5 books, including a green living handbook, devotional, quotes, photo guide to Cape Town, and a small Zulu dictionary
1 Jason Mraz CD
countless picturesque postcards
4 Tshirts
1 S.A. flag beanie
2 interesting feathers (will be tucked into books)
1 hand woven Zulu basket
2 bone beads
3 carved soapstone figures (elephant, lion, and egg)
1 wooden mask keychain
1 wire lizard
1 recycled metal guitar figurine
1 beaded Zulu love letter
1 metal elephant coin
1 pair of stainless steel earrings
1 stone symbol pendant
1 S.A. flag button
1 S.A. flag magnet
2 beaded S.A. flag pins (one in use)
1 S.A. flag sticker
2 magnetic bookmarks (one in use)
1 fridge magnet note holder w/pencil
2 handpainted notebook covers
1 handcrafted pencil w/metal topper
1 handcrafted wooden froggy croaker
1 mbira
1 wooden pensive Masai warrior
2 teatongs *glee*

...

I think that's it.

Now, the thing is, I just don't know if any of this is going to be difficult to import. I think the vast majority of these things I'm going to keep in my carry-on luggage. The things I'm most worried about are the food and wooden/natural items. Everything else is totally negligable. I've marked the ones I'm worried about in italics. Need to look up the laws about importing these items from South Africa to the United States - how much of what in what kinds of containers is allowed?

If anyone has any idea or can look into it for me, PLEASE let me know (with references to where you found the info so I know it's legit), either in a comment here, or via email (mundanugacity@gmail.com) ASAP. I leave in less than 24 hours.

Thanks, love you all! Oh, and you can start calling dibs on items, even though I know who I'm giving most of them to.


EDIT: also, a handful of stones picked up on the beach are tucked into a little stocking, I seem to be missing the beaded flag keychain, but I've got a nifty rainbow Africa keychain on my keys...
Okay, and I think that's everything!

Day 30 - The end is near!

It's been a long morning. And emotional. I'd like to blame it on the fact that I didn't do my injection yesterday, and maybe that's part of it, but probably only as far as it's all in the plan. I'm going to cry a lot today, I'm sure.

I already have thrice. I woke to the sound of a child having a fit, rolled over, and the first thing that caught my eye made me tear up. It's time to get up, get packed, get moving.

Then, just now, not half an hour ago Alice came by to see me. I couldn't imagine why, but was touched just the same. And then she showed me her gift. Tea tongs! The minute I touched them I could tell there was a bit of a story behind their acquisition, and there was. Dear woman went on a right quest.

Quick deviation, in case I look back at past posts and realize I haven't told this story yet. Last week AJ left me at Karin's (spelling?) for a bit and we had tea and chatted the afternoon away. When she was making tea I saw her use this brilliant device which I shall later take a picture of and show you. You use it to retrieve the teabag from the cup and you can squeeze that extra little bit of really strong tea out instead of waisting it. I usually do this by some messy process involving the teaspoon and a fork, so these tongs I thought were absolutely BRILLIANT, and said so. Certainly if I spied some I would know what they were for and buy them, or maybe even resolve to make a pair myself.

Then on Saturday we were at "Granny" Alice's and I saw she too had a pair, and told her the story I just told. I love the simple genius such things represent.

So that was Alice's gift to me. She and Karin had found another pair whilst out and about, conspired to obtain two pairs for me. (Mother, I may just have to bestow one on you, you'll love them!)

I think I may have hugged her about a dozen times, and then had to run back to the kitchen to have a little sniffle and write out my address so she can write me if she wants. Now Alice, I know you have my blog address here and you can and likely will read this, so please do me a favor and make sure to share that address if anyone else wants it, and don't forget to send me yours. (I'll send you a card on the 4th of July, my fellow American! *grin*)

And then just now I had to retreat again. I was sitting in the kitchen enjoying a beautiful cup of tea (and earlier, toast - food always tastes best when made with love, as everything in this house is). I've picked up the Shack again; stopped reading it over a week ago when I felt like it was slogging along. Was kind of disappointed that I wasn't getting the same revolutionary feelings out of it as everyone is saying they've had.

Well, I guess it just wasn't the right time, but now it is. I got to the chapter about judgement, and the closer I got to the end the more I start dripping until I had to come back out here to the study to preserve my dignity.


To those of you who told me: You were right. It DOES get good, and intense, nearer the end. (And I'm not just talking about the book.)

Day 29 - A walk in Constantia and Two Oceans Aquarium

Ran into the most perfect specimen of my all time favourite flower, Strelitzia (Bird of Paradise) today:




This morning we went off to Constantia so AJ could do an interview thingy, and while he was busy with that his mum and I went for a walk. It was a short walk and one laid out in a guide book, listed as only about ten minutes... the thing is, we forgot to account for the walk to the walk, which was just as long and not nearly as scenic... so by the time we had to head back (uphill, in the blistering midday sun) we were completely done in.

It was a sweet little path though, and passed by some stables with some very admirable creatures, and an idyllic looking flower farm.


Still, we were glad to get back, and even more glad to find that Erica knew the secretary who came out to greet us and offer us a reviving cup of tea.

Then off we went to the V&A Waterfront again to drop me off at the Two Oceans Aquarium. Aquariums are the sort of things your parents make you go to when they take you on vacation as a little kid, and one usually gets bored within a few minutes (or that's what I think from my experience) but I was determined to go to this one for two reasons: first, because my baby brothers are (or were when I left) obsessed with sharks and lost no time in telling me ALL about the sharks I would run into in the oceans around South Africa, and secondly because this is where two oceans meet and I used to be very much into marine biology, I figured it would be a disservice to myself and to nature not to check it out.

$8.50 poorer, I was soon to find this is the best aquarium I've ever seen! It's got a nice and simple design, and isn't actually very big... so basically by the time you're bored, you're done and you've seen everything! I think it's cool that they have LOTS of volunteers working there; students and such, who were active in all areas, assisting the tour people and whatnot with actually handling the sea life and the visitors and such. I even managed to come in at feeding time for some of the animals, so that was neat.



I've discovered I really like eels! Never thought about it before, but they're really quite pretty creatures. They look soft, despite their fierce faces, and move kind of elegantly for such awkward bodies.



And the exhibits are excellent. They probably wouldn't go over well in America; too tempting to touch the animals, but that's because they're RIGHT THERE. I mean, at the stingray pool the rays were sucking and flapping their way up the side of the tank and making faces at you, less than a foot away from your face. It would be quite easy to reach out and touch a fin... but then you remember that's how Steve Irwin bit it...


Cute!!
Anyway, like I say, great exhibits!


These penguins were only a few feet away, just hanging out. They could have come right up to us if they wanted...

The "underwater forest" was beautiful, very calming. I thought the big seaweed things looked like Rastafarians with massive dreadlocks.

Sharks!!!



When you're done the only way out is to exit through the giftshop (typical tourist trap)... so I got my baby brothers something shark-related for $20 and headed out to find me some ice cream. The lines were long though, so I never got any. I did, however, get distracted by this excellent band of marimba players!


Then I had to book it across the Waterfront, mostly barefoot - I was wearing my sandals and it's not good for me to walk long distances like that in them, nor was it conducive to running and dodging through crowds, so in true African style I pelted away on my own burning skin. It was kind of nice.

Had another cup of tea when we got back. It's getting hot here, and I'm feeling it because all this time the weather has been ridiculously good to us. It's now about 27 degrees, which is only around 80... and I've survive Texas summers, so I don't know why I'm complaining. But it's the kind of humid heat that sucks all the moisture out of me and makes me dehydrate quickly so I don't quite feel myself all the time. Sad.

And unexpectedly had a deep talk with - or really rather from - AJ, about reconciliation. (Specifically reconciling with my family, or even more specifically, my dad's mother, who represents a source of great pain from my past.) The part of me that wanted to toss back my tea and take a nap was faintly irritated (which incidentally is also the same part of me that has been inexplicably annoyed with him since last night) - plus nobody feels comfortable when they're having their deepest pains dug up to the light and poked at - but the rest of me appreciated the spiritual counseling, not to mention the undivided attention. (AJ if you ever get around to reading this, thank you, and you're absolutely right, and I'll get there.) ((PS - Would've been nice to end that talk with a hug though. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20.))

Which reminds me, I've been told there are at least two little sayings that I use quite often:
"Hindsight is 20/20" and "Not too shabby!" It's nice to be observed when you're busy observing. :)

Whew! These finals days are wearing me out!

Some Weird Things I Haven't Mentioned Yet

I kept meaning to make mention of this and forgetting, but I'm sure you're aware that the electrical system here is different. Not only are the plugs here different, but the voltage system is also higher. In the states I think outlets are 150 volts; in South Africa they're set to 240, which means if you plug something S.African into an American plug it won't get enough power to run, and if you plug something American into a plug here without an adapter it will short out.

Fortunately I had the foresight not only to buy myself a nifty outlet plug adapter, but also to check that the important things (namely, my computer, external harddrive, and cell phone charger) were able to take on the higher voltage. They do... BUT, I think that the higher voltage is having an effect on my computer because it seems when I lay my skin against this one area of it I feel like I'm getting a shock. It makes my hair stand on end. Weird huh?


Secondly, that whole thing about the earth's magnetic fields and stuff must be true, because despite being here for a whole month, and the sun usually coming up and going down in the same directions... I still can't get my bearings!


Speaking of directions, I've forgotten I was going to take some video of a toilet flushing (or at least water going down the drain) to see if it actually swirls in the opposite direction in the southern hemisphere... because I'm funny like that. LOL

They have a weird sense of time here. Some TV shows are scheduled to start at tiems like "five after 6" instead of directly on the hour or half hour.

And finally... did you know they call them "nikes" here? As in, with a long "I" and not pronouncing the final E. I've told the story of the goddess Nike and the battle of Marathon at least three separate times now. I understand why, I just think it's funny.

Okay, done with this totally random post.

Time Zones = annoying

I've been having trouble with the time stamps on these posts. The entire time I've been posting, when I make a new post it tells me something weird; like it's nearly midnight, but my post is marked 4pm or something... when I alter the time manually, setting it a few hours ahead, it tells me it will schedule the post to be published when that time actually occurs...

So I finally figured out that for some weird reason this blog was set to Pacific time. (wtf It could at least be set to Dallas time or something sensible!) So I went in and switched it to GMT +2 (which is marked Jo'burg but at least that's the same country, right?) aaaaaaaaaand... ALL of my previous posts have had their time stamps changed yet again. Which is especially annoying in the case of those which got changed to entirely different dates!

I'm sorry. I'll soon have a chance to finalize all of these things. Get the missing days posts and photos uploaded, edit some of the ones that weren't quite polished, and do some closing posts too.

ATTENTION I might be changing the URL of this blog, from http://holidaysouthafrica.blogspot.com/ to... something else. Just in case I have other trips and want to just use the same blog. I don't know if this will affect those [four] of you who are officially subscribed, but it will definitely throw off anyone who has it bookmarked or enter the URL manually. Don't worry; I'll give you plenty of warning.

Day 26 - Sea Point, Overcoming Fear, Creature Comforts

Just had an absolutely lovely chat, indeed a lovely day, with "Aunty Margaret". (Or rather, in Afrikaans I should say "Tanny", as a respectful term.)

Today was one of my introspective days; the kind where everyone worries about me because I've suddenly gone very quiet and thoughtful and they take to asking if I'm alright and well and so on. I'm really fine I promise. (Sometimes it gets annoying. What, I'm not allowed to have a quiet day? I have to be loud and uproarious all the time? No, but it's alright, I appreciate people noticing my nature and caring enough to note a change.)

Anyway, there was a funeral today and everyone else went to that so I went with Margaret to Sea Point so she could get her hair done. The salon was actually inside the Protea Hotel President.



This is an excellent photo I got of Lion's Head peak (with clouds drifting around it!) which I used as a very handy reference point during my wanderings, and just below that is the hotel. So while she was having that done, I was left to entertain myself for two hours.

Basically, I just walked around. But the effect was much bigger than that. I learned a lot about myself, and about fear.

Truth is I'm much more afraid of boredom than I am of fear. So I took off from the hotel lobby and made my way down to the sea walk. The ocean is absolutely gorgeous, with the biggest waves I've ever seen pounding the rocks there! I couldn't decide on just one of the ones I took to show you, so here are a couple...






There were a lot of guys just hanging around, so I also found that loiterers make me incredibly nervous. Apparently part of my brain is uncomfortable when it doesn't know what people are standing around for. People who seem to be waiting for something, or looking at something, or hanging out with companions just relaxing, but intentionally looking like they're relaxing... that I can handle, but here I have trouble reading some people, and all I can think is they're either beggers or they're going to jump me when I walk by. Sad, but I acknowledge my shortcomings.

SO I made a point of looking some of them in the eye and at least nodding, if not outright greeting them... and many people will say hello and give a big grin and ask you how you are, to which you feel obliged to ask how they are, and they'll tell you...

Incredibly uncomfortable, yet I felt pleased with myself for overcoming that fear and even learning something from it. It doesn't matter why those guys are hanging around; in fact, it's probably rude of me to wonder. It's none of my business. And it would be incredibly rude of me to pretend they don't exist. Although with some of them maybe I was better off; at least one seemed like he might be insane; I wasn't sure if he wanted me to look at something or if he was talking to the seagulls... Oh well.

Margaret warned me to look out for people who are a little overly friendly, as male prostitutes like to hang out in that area. I didn't meet any, that I know of...

So then off I went to explore! I got tired of walking along the sea, so I took off up one of the streets and proceeded to explore a little chip of Cape Town. Ended up walking and walking and walking along a street, and overcoming more fear. I'm really glad I took off on my own in Dallas a few times, as I don't think I could have done today's adventure without some practice. I was really scared at first, but quickly realized how unlikely it was I would be attacked. I didn't have much on me; a tiny camera bag glued to my hip, and my wallet was thin and invisible, and I was wearing somewhat ragged clothing as well... so maybe that reinforced the point that if you want to pick a pocket, get that guy with the suit and the cell phone!

Stopped in at a shop to get a drink and some munchies, then went and sat in front of a laundromat to eat it...



NikNaks are like Cheetos but with a peculiar "foreign" flavor to the cheese. It took me awhile to realize that the "Creme Soda" was actually a nuclear green liquid in a clear bottle (as opposed to a green bottle with a clear liquid, as I first thought). It didn't taste like creme soda at all. Oh well.



As I sat there I saw a double decker bus full of tourists go by, and had to snap a picture. Funny to think these people will never see Cape Town from the side I'm seeing it. I told Margaret I'm really glad I've done this tourist thing the way I have; as a dedicated tourist, but letting locals actually show me around. If I want to see "The Sights" I'll watch a documentary. (Still need to go up Table Mountain though...)

Then we went and got ice creams at a place called Sinnful on Camps Bay road and went for a walk along the beach for real.



I got covered in sand and carried my shoes for awhile. As we meandered along the road Margaret, who used to be the priest of this parish, greeted many people as if she knew them (and most of them she probably did). We stopped to talk to this cute girl in a stall and found out she was from Kenya and hadn't seen her family in over 8 months, and didn't know when she'd see them next! She couldn't believe it when I asked her if I could take a picture of her, but that little gap between her teeth was too precious!


I loved the way Margaret spoke to her; you can tell she really cares, and you have her full attention. I want to talk to people like that someday; think I'll start practicing now! Maybe I'll be an Anglican priest one day too... (Wouldn' t mind serving some of the churches around here, just for the sake of living here! lol)

Actually, speaking of living here... no less than three people asked me if I planned to or nigh on told me I would emmigrate here. Hmm... we'll see what God has planned.

Then we took a drive partly up the Mountain, towards Lion's Head, so I could get a good picture of this side of the cape...


And I also caught these distinctly African trees...

And of course the very regal Lion's Head peak...


We got back to the house just in time to catch AJ as he was headed out to Evensong at the Cathedral. Exhausted as I was, I wanted to go, so quickly got changed and we took off.

I'm really glad I've seen this cathedral once before (on the day we went to walk through the company gardens *wonders if he's posted that yet*) because I don't think I could have stood upright otherwise. The combination of incredible music and imposing beauty of the building and stained glass would have just bowled me over. As it was it was all I could do to follow AJ's ead. (Note to self: Make an effort to get more familiar with Anglican services so I know when to sit/stand. I don't usually kneel though; I'm not entirely comfortable with it, and being distracted by the position I'm in detracts from the focus of my praying.)

Anyway, it was glorious. (Rampant typos in the bulletin notwithstanding! lol) Afterwards we had to wait for awhile on one of our other passengers, and I discovered a labyrinth done in brick in a courtyard. Excellent! I want one of these somewhere in my house/on my grounds one day. I'm sorry I didn't take AJ's advice and walk it as we waited...



Then on the way home, there was a most glorious sunset. We were too eager to get back to pause for anything, so I quietly twisted and squirmed to capture this picture...


God is an awesome artist.

Anyway, earlier in the day Margaret asked me if I wanted to talk about any of the things on my mind, and I said no... partly because I didn't, I wasn't even really sure what was on my mind, but also because I just met the woman, and I wanted a little more time to feel her out.

I have found her to be a remarkable person and clearly an excellent priest, and I'm happy she's here because she's easy to feel close to and all that... but she's also from far away, so some of the things I haven't felt particularly able to talk to the Bethke's about (personal stuff, nothing to do really with my stay here) for fear of making any of the visit "awkward" I was able to speak with her about... and with much success.

I wonder if I didn't make something of an impact on her. Re my fears of early in the morning, about not being aware of other people's experiences... I felt like I got a lot of use out of talking to her, and I hope that in return in the course of our conversation I gave her something equally useful to think about.

All in all it was a great sharing, and a fantastically exhausting day. The Govinders did not call as expected, so I have no idea when they are coming to pick me up in the morning. Hopefully not too early, but then we want to get a good start on the day... so it's a good thing I'm this tired so early in the evening; I'll get plenty of rest, I hope!

Final thought, I have decided (ahead of the day, this time) that I'm going to fast on Sunday again.

Shame and Blinders

Today I’m struggling not to feel ashamed. I believe shame exists to redirect our pride. When we find ourselves taking pride in something we shouldn’t, God gives us shame to counteract that. Unfortunately, imperfect beings that we are, I think we indulge ourselves in shame indiscriminately and too often fail to learn anything from it. In my own life (I certainly have no authority to direct anyone else), I try not to slog around too long in the feeling of shame (and emergence self-righteously “well, I’ve done my time, now I’ll just go back to where I was before”) and instead focus on the source. What am I feeling ashamed of, is it really shameful or is there more… and pray about it a LOT.

I’m feeling ashamed of the fact that I’ve been so self-centered in my spiritual journey for so long. All of my developments have been focused on myself. What do I know, what have I, experienced, what do I believe, what will I practice...? Etc. I’m starting to become more aware of the people around me. We’re all of us on this journey. We walk in different ways, at different paces, and maybe even sometimes in different directions, but we’re all on a path. I feel like I’ve been walking along with blinders on, more or less oblivious to others, until I bump into them or until someone causes something to happen along my private journey. All you other people are just ornaments along my path, so to speak.

Is that something to be ashamed of? Should I not have pride in the progress I’ve made, in the journey I’ve led so far? I don’t think so.

Instead I think this feeling of shame is meant to open my eyes to the people around me. It’s okay to be a little selfish once in awhile. And lets face it, I’m not far along. I’ve really just recently learned to walk! There’s no shame in getting your own balance before letting other people steady themselves against you. Early on, or even further down the road. Sometimes we stumble, and we have to focus on our own feet for a little while. Sometimes we find we have to pick other people up, lean on them or let them lean on us along the way. Sometimes God alters the pace of our lives so that we fall in step with people who enrich our journeys. Sometimes wonderful people come into our lives… sometimes they’re there for the rest of the path, sometimes we lose track of them… sometimes they’re tragically taken from us.

I know I’m speaking awfully broadly and metaphorically. Don’t know how helpful that is. Maybe you’re reading something here and thinking about your own life. Maybe you’re just confused. (What is he talking about?!?)

It’s hard, you know, trying to speak in a way that relates to others. I certainly don’t feel like I have any right to even try and see through anyone else’s eyes. That’s probably my biggest setback. Not because I don’t WANT to relate to people, but because I don’t feel worthy of that… worthy of a relationship? (Do I discount my own experience, unfairly judge my own struggles as worth much less? What is the right perspective to have?) Strange revelation.

So there’s shame in only knowing my own story, AND there’s shame in trying to relate to someone else’s! This is going to take a lot more meditation…

Day 25 - Vergelegen

Today I went with Erica and AJ to a place called Vergelegen. Vergelegen is a very old, nigh ancient, estate, which is today farm more than just a wine farm.



Vergelegen, meaning "situated far away", was granted to the Governor of the Cape in 1700 and the property has had a long and fascinating history since that time. Willem Adriaan Van der Stel, was a man of divergent interests who transformed the uncultivated land into a veritable paradise. He planted vines, camphor trees and oaks, laid out fruit orchards and orange groves, and introduced cattle and sheep.
(taken from the official website)

As usual, everything was absolutely gorgeous, from the traditionally Cape Dutch style buildings...

...to the exquisite gardens and attentively kept grounds...


to the incredible Camphor trees which are actually protected national monuments...



to the simplest of elegant corners...

The gardens and lawns were especially beautiful, and many times we just sat and enjoyed the tableau.

Sitting under huge mulberry trees (nevermind the mulberry bush!)...




Some of the most fantastic flowers...



Ah, peacocks!

And we had tea (and lunch, sort of...) in the Rose Garden.


The wetland garden was my favourite.


I can never remember the name, but Arum lillies are my favourite. (I'm deathly allergic to most kinds.) Here I found the BIGGEST one I've ever seen in my life! As tall as my chest, with a bloom as big as my hand!



Well, from there we went to pick up AJ's aunt from the airport. After just a few hours I've concluded that's she's a pretty fantastic lady, and I'm really glad she decided to come visit the Bethke's now so I got a chance to meet her. She's one of those people who is tapped into some boundless source of energy and wit, and I doubt anything shakes her.

Not much else to report from the day. We ("we" being everyone in the house plus AJ's brother Stephen) went to a restaurant called Ashley's for a birthday dinner. I had a delicious lasagne, and if it's one thing I have to complain about when it comes to my experience with South African food it's the portions... they always give you far too much for far too little! Our waiter was a smartass named Matthew, who asked me if I needed a spoon, and when I said yes he brought back five different sizes, including a tiny teaspoon and an enormous cooking spoon. That's the second time we've gone to this establishment, and the second time we've gotten a funny and friendly waiter (or waitress, in the case of the first visit).

Matthew claimed to be a photography buff and took our picture for us; must remember to get a copy of that...

And then we came home and watched half of Fiddler on the Roof, but none of us was prepared to last through the whole thing.

Since this "Aunty Margaret" is here, I've been banished from the guest room for her sake, and am now holed up in the outside study. It's kind of nice sleeping with a bunch of books. (Creepy crawlies notwithstanding.) I could think of nicer things to sleep with though...